Posted: 10:29 PM - Apr 20, 2002
The "Stella" awards rank up there with the Darwin awards.
Stella Liebeck is the 81 year old lady who spilled coffee
on herself
and sued McDonalds. This case inspired an annual award -
The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous lawsuit in the
U.S. The following are this year's candidates:
1. January 2000:
Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000
by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping
over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The
owners of the store were understandably surprised at the
verdict, considering the misbehaving little bastard was Ms.
Robertson's son.
2. June 1998:
A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and
medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with
a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there
was someone at the wheel of the car, when he was trying to
steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
3. October 1998:
A Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a
house he had
just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able
to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door
opener was malfunctioning.
He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting
the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The
family was on vacation.
Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight
days. He subsisted
on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog
food. He sued the
homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him
undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a
million dollars.
4. October 1999:
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500
and medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next
door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in it's
owner's fenced-in yard. The award was less than sought
because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little
provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it
repeatedly with a pellet gun.
5. May 2000:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson
of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and
broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because
Ms. Carson threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier
during an argument.
6. December 1997:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the
owner of a night
club in a neighboring city when she fell from the
bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two
front teeth. This occurred while Ms Walton was trying to
sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying
the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental
expenses.
And the winner is: Mr Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City. In
November 2000 Mr
Grazinski purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor
home. On his first trip home, having joined the freeway, he
set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of
coffee. Not surprisingly the Winnie left the freeway,
crashed and overturned. Mr Grazinski sued Winnebago for not
advising him in the handbook that he couldn't actually do
this.
He was awarded $1,750,000 plus a new Winnie.
(Winniebago actually changed their handbooks on the back of
this court case, just in case there are any other
complete morons buying their vehicles.
Stella Liebeck is the 81 year old lady who spilled coffee
on herself
and sued McDonalds. This case inspired an annual award -
The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous lawsuit in the
U.S. The following are this year's candidates:
1. January 2000:
Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000
by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping
over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The
owners of the store were understandably surprised at the
verdict, considering the misbehaving little bastard was Ms.
Robertson's son.
2. June 1998:
A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and
medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with
a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there
was someone at the wheel of the car, when he was trying to
steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
3. October 1998:
A Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a
house he had
just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able
to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door
opener was malfunctioning.
He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting
the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The
family was on vacation.
Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight
days. He subsisted
on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog
food. He sued the
homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him
undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a
million dollars.
4. October 1999:
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500
and medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next
door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in it's
owner's fenced-in yard. The award was less than sought
because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little
provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it
repeatedly with a pellet gun.
5. May 2000:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson
of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and
broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because
Ms. Carson threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier
during an argument.
6. December 1997:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the
owner of a night
club in a neighboring city when she fell from the
bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two
front teeth. This occurred while Ms Walton was trying to
sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying
the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental
expenses.
And the winner is: Mr Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City. In
November 2000 Mr
Grazinski purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor
home. On his first trip home, having joined the freeway, he
set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of
coffee. Not surprisingly the Winnie left the freeway,
crashed and overturned. Mr Grazinski sued Winnebago for not
advising him in the handbook that he couldn't actually do
this.
He was awarded $1,750,000 plus a new Winnie.
(Winniebago actually changed their handbooks on the back of
this court case, just in case there are any other
complete morons buying their vehicles.