Posted: 12:28 AM - Feb 09, 2002
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sear's hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping" (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter special)
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how ...?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But its "just" a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: Fly Delta.)
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you
to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)
Now that you've had your laugh it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone who needs a good laugh...in other words send it to everyone. We all need a good smile every once in a while.
On a Sear's hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping" (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter special)
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how ...?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But its "just" a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: Fly Delta.)
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you
to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)
Now that you've had your laugh it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone who needs a good laugh...in other words send it to everyone. We all need a good smile every once in a while.